Even after 13 years of marriage I still get it wrong quite often. I think I've done the right thing, but it's the wrong thing, or said the wrong thing or forgot to say the right thing.
Phew, confusing!
I'm pretty certain however that there are some things I get terrifically right. Some things I sat down and figured out when thinking, how can I make my wife happy.
This isn't brain surgery, but when we get to number 3, you'll understand why so many men, including me sometimes, fail miserably at this.
Number 1 - Cook. If you can't cook, learn. There are so many resources that will teach you how to cook it''s unbelievable. The internet has a billion recipes on it and most of them could be cooked by a chimpanzee, so we're gonna be fine. When I met my wife I lived with my brother and our staple diet was meat pie sandwiches. Honestly.
I look back now and wonder how on earth I survived. He went to Thailand, came back an expert chef and made me look bad. So, I learned, I read and I experimented and now I'm still a terrible cook, but there are some dishes I term my specialties and they're not half-bad.
Number 2 - Clean. Ugh. Everyone hates housework and it's been a long hard road, but one day I just thought, 'I'm getting it in the neck every day for not being Mr Clean, so I'll just start'. It's amazing how much pride you can take in keeping your living area clean when you just try. The difference it makes to your everyday life is incredible. I feel so much more organised than I did and while sometimes it's a bit gross, it's a lot more hygienic and I don't have to wash dishes when I need them, they're already done.
Number 3 - This is the most important one. Actually do it! Pro-actively.
You can be the world's greatest chef and have the domestic skills of an entire cleaning company, but if you don't do it, you're gonna be in the dog-house.
Number 3 was the difficult one to figure out. I did my share of the cleaning and cooking, but it still didn't have the effect I desired. Until my wife said. 'It's not that you aren't doing it, but that I have to ask you to do it.'
AHA!
That was a real epiphany. My husbanding skills went through the roof after I understood what she meant. I don't wait to be asked to polish the tiles in the bathroom, I do it when I think there might be a need. I sometimes cook something special just for the sheer heck of it. Once in a while I creep out of bed at 5am and do a bunch of house work while she's dreaming of ponies.
The rewards are worth it, and now I get to stand around looking smug when she talks about me to her friends.
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